Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee

This is a true story from the Word Perfect Help line which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the Word Perfect organization for ‘Termination without Cause.’

T - Ridge Hall computer assistance; may I help you?
C - Yes, well, I’m having trouble with WordPerfect.
T - What sort of trouble?
C - Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.
T - Went away?
C - They disappeared.
T - Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?
C - Nothing.
T - Nothing?
C - Its blank; it wont accept anything when I type.
T - Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?
C - How do I tell?
T - Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?
C - What’s a sea-prompt?
T - Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?
C - There isn’t any cursor: I told you, it wont accept anything I type.
T - Does your monitor have a power indicator?
C - What’s a monitor
T - It’s the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when its on?
C - I don’t know.
T - Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. C - Can you see that?
C - Yes, I think so.
T - Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if its plugged into the wall.
C - Yes, it is.
T - When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?
C - No.
T - Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable.
C - Okay, here it is.
T - Follow it for me, and tell me if its plugged securely into the back of your computer.
C - I cant reach.
T - Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?
C - No.
T - Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?
C - Oh, its not because I don’t have the right angle - its because its dark.
T - Dark?
C - Yes -the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window.
T - Well, turn on the office light then.
C - I cant.
T - No Why not?
C - Because there’s a power failure.
T - A power... A power failure Aha, Okay, we’ve got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?
C - Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.
T - Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from.
C - Really Is it that bad?
T - Yes, I'm afraid it is.
C - Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?
T - Tell them you’re too stupid to own a computer.