The Minnesotan's Guide to Computer Technology

• Log on: makin' da vood stove hotter

• Log off: don't add no more vood

• Monitor: keep an eye on da vood stove

• Megahertz: vhen da big log drops on yer bare foot in da mornin'

• Floppy disk: vhat you get from pilin' too much vood

• Ram: da round metal thing dat makes da voodsplitter work

• Hard drive: getting' home durin' most of da vinter

• Prompt: vhat you vish da mail vas durin' da snow season

• Enter: ya hey der, come on in

• Windows: vhat ya shut vhen it gets 10 degrees below zero

• Screen: vhat is a must durin' da mosquito season

• Chip: vhat ya munch durin' da vikings games

• Microchip: vhat's left in da bag vhen da chips is gone

• Modem: vhat ya did to da hay fields last yuly

• Dot matrix: da wife of sven matrix

• Laptop: vhere da grandkids sit

• Keyboard: vhere ya suppose ta put da keys, so da missus can find 'em

• Software: da plastic utensils, ya?

• Mouse: vhat leaves dem little turds in da cupboard

• Mainframe: da part of da sauna vhat holds up da roof

• Port: vhere da bug fishin' boats dock

• Random access memory: Vhen ya can't remember how much vas da new deer rifle vhen da vife asks about it...