Signs the 2000s are getting to you . . .

• You try to enter your password on the microwave.

• You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.

• You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three.

• You e-mail your buddy who works at the desk next to you.

• You chat several times a day with a stranger from South America, but you haven't spoken to your next door neighbor yet this year.

• Your reason for not staying in touch with friends is that they do not have e-mail addresses.

• You hear most of your jokes via email instead of in person.

• When you go home after a long day at work you still answer the phone in a business manner.

• When you make phone calls from home, you accidentally insert a "9" to get an outside line.

• You've sat at the same desk for four years and worked for three different companies.

• Your company's welcome sign is attached with Velcro.

• You have your resume on a diskette.

• Your biggest loss from a system crash was when you lost all of your best jokes.

• Your supervisor doesn't have the ability to do your job.

• Contractors out number permanent staff and are more likely to get long-service awards.

• Board members salaries are higher than all the Third World countries annual budgets combined.

• It's dark when you drive to and from work, even in the summer.

• You know exactly how many days you've got left until you retire.

• You see a good looking, smart person and you know it must be a visitor.

• Free food left over from meetings is your staple diet.

• You're already late on the assignment you just got.

• There's no money in the budget for the five permanent staff your department is short of, but they can afford four full-time management consultants advising your boss's boss on strategy.

• Vacation time is something you roll over to next year.

• Every week another brown collection envelope comes around because someone you DIDN'T EVEN KNOW WORKED THERE is leaving.

• Your relatives and family describe your job as "works with computers".

• The only reason you recognize your kids is because their pictures are on your desktop.

And the clincher is:

• You read this entire list, and kept nodding and smiling.