Windows Vista Jersey Edition

It has come to our attention that a few copies of the WINDOWS VISTA NEW JERSEY EDITION may have accidentally been shipped outside New Jersey. If you have one of these, you may need some help understanding the commands. The New Jersey edition may be recognized by the unique opening screen. It reads: WINDAS VISTA, with a background picture of a Parkway toll plaza. It is shipped with a Sopranos screen saver.

Please also note:

The Recycle Bin is labeled "Bayonne"
My Computer is called "my friggin' computer"
Dial up Networking is called "The bar"
Control Panel is known as the "The bosses"
Hard Drive is referred to as "287 Rush Hour"
Instead of an error message a "You're not gonna friggin' believe this" pops up.

Changes in Terminology in New Jersey Edition:

OK ....................... Sure ting
Cancel ................... Sh#t
Reset .................... Start Ova
Yes ...................... Yeah
No ....................... Nah
Find ..................... Put a contract out on
Go to .................... Go to Exit
Back ..................... U turn
Help ..................... (Help is not available, that would admit a weakness)
Stop ..................... Friggin' stop
Start .................... C'mon
Settings ................. Rules

Also note that any voice recognition software run on the NEW JERSEY EDITION platform does not recognize the letter "r."

Some programs that are exclusive to WINDAS 98:

Typa ................... A word processing program
Calculata .............. Calculator
Dunkin Donuts Napkin ... Notepad
Porn Hunt .............. Microsoft Explorer 4.0
My Porn ................ A graphics viewer

We regret any inconvenience it may have caused if you received a copy of the New Jersey EDITION. You may return it to Microsoft for a replacement version.

I hope this solves your Damn problem!