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To
those of you still trying to improve your computer skills, these Tech
Support answers should help!
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Tech Support: What kind of computer do you have ?
Customer: A white one.
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Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my DVD out !!!
Tech Support: Have you tried pushing the button ?
Customer: Yes, I'm sure it's really stuck.
Tech
Support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note.Tech Support: What kind of computer do you have ?
Customer: A white one.
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Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my DVD out !!!
Tech Support: Have you tried pushing the button ?
Customer: Yes, I'm sure it's really stuck.
Customer: No, wait a minute, I hadn't inserted it yet. It's still on my desk ... sorry. Thank you.
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Tech Support: Click on the 'MY COMPUTER' icon on the left of the screen.
Customer: Your left or my left ?
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Tech Support: Hello. How may I help you ?
Male Customer: Hi . . . I can't print.
Tech Support: Would you click on 'START' for me and . . .
Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me. I'm not Billi Gates !!!
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Customer: Good afternoon, this is Martha. I can't print. Every time I try, it says . . . 'CAN'T FIND PRINTER'. I even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says it can't find it !!!
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Customer: I have problems printing in red.
Tech Support: Do you have a colour printer ?
Customer: Aah . . . . . . . . . . thank you.
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Tech Support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am ?
Customer: A teddy bear that my boyfriend bought for me at the 7-11 store.
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Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
Tech Support: Are you sure your keyboard is plugged into the computer ?
Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
Tech Support: Pick up your keyboard and take ten steps backwards.
Customer: Okay.
Tech Support: Did the keyboard come with you ?
Customer: Yes.
Tech Support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard ?
Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Wait a moment please. . . . . . .. Ah, that one does work.
Thanks.
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Tech Support: Your password is the small letter 'a' as in apple, a capital letter 'V' as in Victor, and the number ' 7'.
Customer: Is that '7' in capital letters ?
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Customer: I can't get on the internet.
Tech Support: Are you absolutely sure you used the correct password ?
Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my co-worker do it.
Tech Support: Can you tell me what the password was ?
Customer: Five dots.
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Tech Support: What anti-virus program do you use ?
Customer: Netscape.
Tech Support: That's not an anti-virus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry . . . Internet Explorer.
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Customer: I have a huge problem ! My friend has placed a screen saver on my computer . . . but, every time I move my mouse, it disappears.
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Tech Support: How may I help you ?
Customer: I'm writing my first email.
Tech Support: OK, and what seems to be the problem ?
Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the little circle around it.
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A woman customer called the Canon help desk because she had a problem with her printer.
Tech Support: Are you running it under windows ?
Customer: No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting next to me is by a window, and his printer is working fine !
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And last, but not least . . .
Tech Support: Okay Bob, press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now, type the letter 'P' to bring up the Program Manager.
Customer: I don't have a 'P'.
Tech Support: On your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: What do you mean ?
Tech Support: 'P' . . . on your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: I AM NOT GOING TO DO THAT !!!
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This has to make you feel better about your computer skills !
................
A, final word from
the
Almighty Janitor
In the
unlikely event I ever become president of a company, my first order
of business will be to promote the janitor to executive vice
president of Tech Support. Then I'll call him into my office and say
"All right, Herb, I want you to tell me what's going on in the
company. Care for a drink before we begin? I think I have a bottle of
Scotch around here someplace."
"Lower left drawer of your desk," Herb will reply, "Right behind your box of El Puffo cigars, which, I might add, are excellent."
— Patrick McManus, The Good Samaritan Strikes Again, from tvtropes.org / pmwiki
"Lower left drawer of your desk," Herb will reply, "Right behind your box of El Puffo cigars, which, I might add, are excellent."
— Patrick McManus, The Good Samaritan Strikes Again, from tvtropes.org / pmwiki
